


Guinea Pig

by Esselle



Series: Whole Milk [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Humor, Frottage, Humor, Kageyama is a prostitute, Kinktober 2017, Lapdance, M/M, but it doesn't play a huge role in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2019-02-05 15:50:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12797640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esselle/pseuds/Esselle
Summary: "What is, uh," Kageyama asks apprehensively, as Hinata walks slowly towards him, one foot in front of the other, in a manner he no doubt hopes is coy, "what's about to happen? So I can prepare myself.""What's about to happen…" Hinata says, reaching him, running a finger down Kageyama's chest, "is I'm about to blow… your…"The music goes:I LIKE—BIG—"Mind!" Hinata yells, and explodes into dancing over Kageyama's lap, so exuberant it briefly frightens Kageyama.'--Hinata has been watching more sexy internet tutorial videos; Kageyama continues to be a good boyfriend. (Mostly.)





	Guinea Pig

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kinktober #15: Lap dance

"I wanna try something."

These words, spoken out of the blue by Hinata, on a Saturday evening that previously held no other plans but Top Ramen and board games, strike fear into Kageyama's heart.

Hinata is staring at him expectantly, adorably, but Kageyama isn't falling for it. _I want to try something_ means Hinata has gotten ideas into his head again, _sex_ ideas, and Kageyama is about to be an awkward erotic guinea pig if he doesn't think of a way out quick.

"Why don't we play Monopoly first—" he starts to say, realizing his mistake too late. Neither of them even _likes_ Monopoly. But they'd decided not to splurge on a Wii until they had more money saved up, so here they are.

Hinata rolls his eyes. "You know we'd just end up having sex on the board and ruining it anyway!" He flashes Kageyama a cheeky thumbs up. "This is a shortcut."

"I'm… not sure I want to take this shortcut," Kageyama tells him.

Hinata pouts. "I promise it'll be fun. Really! I did a lot of research online."

 _Fuuuuck my life,_ Kageyama thinks. It just keeps getting better.

Hinata crawls over to him across the floor. Kageyama leans back as far as he can get but Hinata just keeps scooting closer until he's peering up at him imploringly.

"Pleeeeease?" he asks. Then he briefly kisses the underside of Kageyama's chin.

 _Damn him._ Kageyama hangs his head and sighs, as Hinata giggles, recognizing defeat when he sees it.

"Alright," he says, "what do you want to try?"

Hinata tugs him up off the floor. "Okay, okay!" He drags a chair out into the middle of the room and hurries Kageyama into it. "Sit there."

"Right," Kageyama says. "Do you want me to close my eyes?" This is often a prerequisite, as Hinata prepares whatever he has planned.

"No, it's okay!" Hinata says, and then drops his sweatpants off without warning. He's wearing little orange briefs—but they're _tiny._ Possibly made for women. He's blushing, and Kageyama instantly suspects that more of this was premeditated than Hinata is letting on. Hinata pulls off his shirt as well, and then sets his phone on the kitchen counter, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he fiddles with it.

A very familiar bass line suddenly starts to play from the tinny speakers, and Kageyama sits up straighter. This does not bode well at _all,_ he thinks, as Hinata wiggles around to come stand in front of him. Has Hinata truly not learned his lesson yet?

 _"Oh… my… god, Becky, look at her_ butt."

It would appear he has not.

"What is, uh," Kageyama asks apprehensively, as Hinata walks slowly towards him, one foot in front of the other, in a manner he no doubt hopes is coy, "what's about to happen? So I can prepare myself."

"What's about to happen…" Hinata says, reaching him, running a finger down Kageyama's chest, "is I'm about to blow… your…"

The music goes: _"I LIKE—BIG—"_

"Mind!" Hinata yells, and explodes into dancing over Kageyama's lap, so exuberant it briefly frightens Kageyama.

"Okay!" Kageyama says, trying to curb the panic in his voice, "oh, okay, wow—"

Hinata spins around, catching his foot on the side of the chair, which nearly sends him swan diving into the floor. Kageyama, who by now has learned to expect this, steadies him by putting his hands on his hips.

"Oooh, Kageyama," Hinata coos, "I didn't say you could touch!"

"Sorry," Kageyama says, feeling utterly baffled. At least Hinata is facing away and can't see his face. He isn't even dancing _on_ Kageyama, just gyrating wildly in front of him, slightly out of breath from the force of his movements.

"Are you," Hinata pants, "getting… excited?"

"I'm getting… something," Kageyama says. He doesn't have the heart to say "deeply embarrassed".

Lap dances aren't something he really does for his job, unless specifically requested and paid extra, because everything is usually much more direct—not a lot of foreplay or teasing, aside from hand jobs or going down on someone. Then it's straight to bed for a hard and hopefully brief fuck.

With Hinata, however, that's not the case. The foreplay may be a little more, well, sexy when Kageyama initiates, but Hinata…

How many hours did he spend, Kageyama wonders, secretly searching up lap dance videos? Did he practice beforehand? He had the song ready—which, given all the _possible_ choices in the world, _how_ had he landed on that one? He must have been utterly too pleased with himself for all of this, Kageyama knows, imagining how "mind blown" Kageyama would be. With this realization comes a whole wave of fondness.

Yes, this is definitely embarrassing to watch. It's like a ship sinking.

But Kageyama will go down with it, as the captain of the vessel.

He stands, slightly overbalancing Hinata, who squeaks and looks over his shoulder. But Kageyama yanks him back forcefully, until their hips are flush together, so he can grind against Hinata.

"Am I allowed to touch yet?" he asks, and Hinata breaks into a brilliant smile.

"Fine!" he says breathlessly. "Since you _obviously_ can't resist me!"

 _No, I can't,_ Kageyama thinks. _Somehow._

He dances with Hinata like they're at the darkest, skeeviest club imaginable, instead of in Hinata's bright, cramped living room, listening to "Baby Got Back". Hinata is a bit hard to contain, but Kageyama valiantly does his best, wrapping him up tight, one hand splayed across his stomach, the other gripping his thigh. He rolls his hips against Hinata's ass, and Hinata starts to moan.

"Come here," Kageyama says, as the song blessedly fades out. He sits back down and turns Hinata around—he has to do a lot of maneuvering, as Hinata is becoming putty-like.

 _"Nnnh…_ " he murmurs, as Kageyama pulls him into his lap. "Tobio…" He mumbles Kageyama's name against his lips, as Kageyama rubs his knuckles gently over the outline of his cock in his orange briefs. Hinata is leaking through them a little already.

"Yeah, I got you," Kageyama says, pulling him in closer.

Flailing lap dance or no, this still feels just as amazing. Hinata falling apart for him is always sexy, even if Hinata himself doesn't realize it. _This,_ somehow, is what makes Hinata feel embarrassed—his flushed face and lidded eyes and desperate gasps as Kageyama rubs their cocks together through their sweats. Kageyama opens his mouth, to _tell_ him how gorgeous he looks now.

_"Oh… my… god, Becky—"_

He shuts his mouth and closes his eyes. "Did you… put the song on repeat?"

"M… maybe," Hinata says. "Do you… want me to turn it off…"

Kageyama considers this. "Nah. Leave it going."

Hinata couldn't question him further even if he wanted to—Kageyama kisses him again, shifting the waistband of his briefs down, freeing the tip of his cock. Hinata whimpers and sighs as Kageyama strokes him, and cries out helplessly when Kageyama pushes down his own sweats, so they can finally rock together, skin on skin. Hinata might _not_ be so bad at lap dances, provided he gets a little worked up first.

"Gonna—" Hinata huffs into Kageyama's mouth, "Kageyama— _ah—_ " So much for being the tease. He spills all over Kageyama's stomach, arms wrapped around his neck and clinging tight, face buried in his shoulder.

Kageyama rubs his back. "Good?" Hinata nods. "Wanna finish me?" Hinata nods again.

He wraps his slim fingers around Kageyama's shaft and works him the way Kageyama showed him. The whole time, he kisses Kageyama softly, lazy now that he's already come, and Kageyama's own release finds him slow and heavy, makes him sigh in bliss.

Hinata wipes his hand all over the bottom of Kageyama's shirt afterwards and flops against him, sated.

"Thank you for pretending you liked my dance," he says softly, tracing Kageyama's shirt collar with his fingers.

"What?" Kageyama asks. "I did like it."

Hinata smiles, cheeks pink. "I can tell, you have this voice you use. When you think something's dumb."

"I always think you're dumb," Kageyama says, "so that can't be right."

Hinata pinches his nipple, hard, and Kageyama yelps. He rubs at it, wincing.

"You're not going to get hired by any strip clubs any time soon," Kageyama admits. "But… it was pretty fucking cute." He also thinks Hinata is always pretty fucking cute, but he's not going to tell him that and lose his leverage.

Hinata grins. "I'll accept that, I guess."

"I really can't resist you, dumbass," Kageyama sighs, and Hinata stretches to kiss him.

"That's good," he says, "because I've been watching pole dancing videos, and I was thinking—"

Kageyama stands, dumping Hinata off his lap. "I really need to change the song before having this discussion with you."

Hinata scrambles to his feet. "That's not a 'no', though, right? Right? Kageyama!"

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to check out more 2017 KageHina Kinktober stories, I'm posting them all to **[this collection](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/kagehinakinktober2017/profile)**. 
> 
> The 2016 collection is [here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/kagehinakinktober2016/profile)! 
> 
> [I'm [@esselley](http://esselley.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [@Esselle_hq](https://twitter.com/Esselle_hq) on Twitter]


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